Alright! So, the idea of this blog is to chronicle my new lifestyle of being ORGANIZED. Big deal, you think. But really, I know being organized will make me happy, and I’m having a hard time post college. Not that I was a organized then, but my life had a structure until June 11, 2010. Then BAM free time! Job search! Clean the house! Take out the trash! Keep the room clean! Changed kitty litter! Cook food!
Now, I’m not striving to be a housewife. I have ambitions. Lots of them. The problem is I get in my way a lot. My mess makes me feel bad about myself, causes me guilt and stress, and ultimately leads to one finding me in bed watching Scrubs on my laptop at 4pm. It’s a vicious cycle, and lately it’s getting better, but it’s time to step back and do some planning!
When I graduated from UCLA last June, I had my whole life in front of me. Grad school, a house with Matt, kittens, a garden. When I decided grad school wasn’t my thing after all, the job search took over my life. It’s hard to get out of a mindset where the only place you should be in is an office from 9 to 5. My boss/friend from my on campus job at the Hall of Fame, Emily, said that just because I’ll get a job won’t mean my problems will just disappear. I’ve found that she’s totally right.
When I found that I was getting no calls back, crappy interviews, hopes crushed and my ego stomped on, I became more and more depressed. It was like my life didn’t have a purpose if I wasn’t good enough to get a job. I would sleep all day. I wouldn’t work on anything; I’d get jealous of Matt for having work to do. Basically, I was feeling pretty damn sorry for myself. Of course, when I did find a job, I still wasn’t feeling any better. Sure, I had a little bit of income, but Emily was right: I still felt unhappy. With a mixture of a poor working environment (there, I said it) and still not feeling 100% comfortable with myself, getting a job didn’t solve anything.
I started working at the Gap to pay the bills, and was soon let go of the design job I spoke previously of. I wasn’t surprised; it definitely wasn’t a good fit, and I was expecting it. I just wished that the two awesome interviews I’d had the week prior panned out so that I could quit first! Dammit. Oh well. Since then, things have changed. I’m no longer defined by a job; I work at Gap! I come in early and help with displays and mannequins, something I quite like. I work for Matt’s company, a verynice design studio, sometimes pro-bono, sometimes not. Recently, I was hired by a designer who needs freelance help; I come by her place and work looking out her french doors at a courtyard. I’m telling you: search craigslist! That’s how I found her. You just have to be patient.
And here we are! This isn’t supposed to be a depressing blog, I swear. I was just giving a background story. The PLAN is that I will be coming up with a new way to clean up my life: planning meals, planning new ways to spruce up my house, brainstorming about business plans, scheduling yoga classes, figuring out how to work productively. Hopefully it will help you, too! We can give each other tips. I love blogs like Door Sixteen, Design*Sponge, Twig & Thistle, Nubby Twiglet, Gala Darling and Craftzine. And I’m obsessed with Etsy (where I love to find potential engagement rings…). Typical girl stuff. I love to fantasize about IKEA, painting my livingroom green, and tiling my bathroom with vinyl black and white checkered flooring. I dream about having the motivation to take a hike, or sign up for a gym, or even go to any of the yoga classes I have in their own calendar on GCal. I have two black cats named Dexter and Olive, and a very shy guinea pig named Gus. I love my friends, my parents and a good pint of Ben and Jerry’s Coffee Heath Bar Crunch.
Tomorrow is Monday, first day of my new life! For now, I’m going to sleep on it (on the other side of the bed. Matt and I are going to try switching sides to see if we sleep better). Goodnight!